


Short-Circuited

by Dracoduceus



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Sniper McCree, tramp stamp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 07:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19883887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dracoduceus/pseuds/Dracoduceus
Summary: When Hanzo is unable to serve as a sniper for a mission due to injuring his arm, McCree steps up to the plate.He insists that he needs to look the part. Hanzo agrees. Everyone else is not so sure.





	Short-Circuited

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShittyHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShittyHero/gifts).



> Inspired by IchigoWhiskey's [Jesse McOui](https://twitter.com/ichigowhiskey/status/1146466528432459776) doodle. 
> 
> The title is also from her, big surprise. It's because she's much better at coming up with titles than I am...and because I told her that if she came up with a title, I would post it to Ao3....and here we are.

“I don’t think…” Winston trailed off, his golden eyes following the line of McCree’s suit before looking away.

McCree wiggled as he tugged up the jumpsuit. He swore as the zipper caught in his chest hair, rubbing the offending spot before trying again, tugging the fabric out and away from him so it wouldn’t get caught again. “No, this is entirely necessary.”

“I concur,” Hanzo agreed, his eyes unashamedly trained on the suit’s open back and the way that it clung to his sides, hips, and ass. “Entirely necessary.” The fingers of his left arm in a sling after straining it during practice, twitched.

Twisting, McCree winked at Hanzo. He pulled the zip all the way to his collarbones before easing it back down to his ribs. The tight fabric clung to his skin. “Way I see it,” he said as he extended his arms over his head and stretched. It made the jumpsuit strain and the zipper wiggled a few centimeters lower before stopping.

Winston, who was instead watching Hanzo, wondered if the archer had any blood left in his brain to function.

With an exaggerated groan that was nearly pornographic, McCree settled down again and swung his arms to stretch his shoulders. “Way I see it,” he repeated. “Sniper are always dressing up real sexy. Might as well look the part if I’m going to be playing it, too.”

Curious, Winston watched Hanzo’s face for any traces of jealousy but was unsurprised to find that it was blank and that Hanzo was still staring at the area around McCree’s hips. It was hard to tell where exactly he was looking but then again, Winston supposed that he didn’t really want to know.

Ana cleared her throat. “Snipers aren’t meant to be  _ seen _ ,” she said, enunciating each word. She looked that strange combination of amused and frustrated that only Jesse McCree could bring out.

“With a bod and suit like this?” McCree asked in mock affront, mimicking one of Zarya’s famous poses and flexing both arms, his knee hiked up.

From the thin whine that may have been the last of Hanzo’s soul escaping, it must have pulled the jumpsuit even tighter against McCree’s skin. Winston was glad that he couldn’t see it—what he had already seen was enough to haunt his dreams. He focused on McCree’s face while a small part of him wondered how he, a gorilla, was so uncomfortable with human nudity taboos.

Perhaps that was among the weirdest thing here.

Aside from McCree squeezed into a metallic spandex catsuit that was probably a few sizes too small, judging by the way the seams bulged along his shoulders and biceps. (Winston deliberately didn’t look down, didn’t want to see where  _ else _ the seams may be straining. Along his thighs, or— _ no, Winston, don’t think of that! Think of something else… _ )

“Hanzo,” Ana began and then sighed irritably. “Oh, you’re no use.”

Beside her, Hana sipped at her juice box. “I didn’t know you had a tramp stamp, cowboy.”

“I must insist,” Winston said, deliberately not looking at McCree. Looking at the ceiling was much safer. He cleared his throat. “Agent McCree, I must insist that you wear more… _ practical _ gear.”

“She started it,” McCree said rather unhelpfully, not sounding at all cowed by Winston’s authority. “Besides, I think I look good. Don’t I, Hanzo?”

Hanzo made a wordless noise of assent, his cheeks still flushed. Winston was pretty sure that at that moment, Hanzo would absently agree to anything, all of his attention consumed by McCree.

Hana seemed to notice this; after another long sip from her juice box she said, “Hey Hanzo, I bet this suit really makes you want to jump McCree’s bones, huh?”

As expected, Hanzo made a distracted noise of agreement. Winston wondered if his nose would start to bleed like characters in anime.

(He also wondered how he knew that, as he was pretty sure that he had never watched anime before to know of such a trope. The best course of action here would of course be to blame Lena.)

Surprised, McCree stopped his peacock-like strutting and turned to stare at Hanzo. Hana sipped at her juice box again and walked away. “My work here is done. Peace!”

Winston cleared his throat. “Look at the time,” he said pointedly. “Agent McCree, you had best get going. The dropship will be leaving soon.”

As McCree turned, Winston finally saw what Hanzo had been staring at.

It turned out that McCree had a large, extremely gaudy Deadlock Gang tramp stamp that was now revealed with the extremely low back of McCree’s ridiculous outfit.

Seeing that Hanzo was still staring after McCree, Winston turned to Ana who was shaking her head. “I’m wearing my swimsuit to the next mission,” she announced before turning and leaving.

Winston sighed. He glanced at Hanzo before walking away toward the kitchen. He really needed some peanut butter right about now—surely Athena would understand and unlock the cabinet for him.

(She didn’t.)

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think. I'd apologize for my bullshit but....unfortunately in this case I'm not sure I'm that sorry. 
> 
> Feel free to come and find me on twitter at [dracoduceus](https://twitter.com/dracoduceus). 
> 
> ~DC


End file.
